Living bigger

I was just looking at my treasure map that I made a few months ago. I hadn't made one in a long time but something that Jim was studying suggested it and I joined in. I cut out alot of stuff, trying not to censor myself, and in the end I have a few major themes- self-love and creativity, community and friendship, world travel. There is a tiny photo of a man and woman running in swim suits towards the end of pier. It makes me nervous when I look at it, part of why I put it in the middle of my map (surrounded by words like " Love is all you need" and "find your happy place") It makes no difference to my eye that it's a small photo, because I notice it almost immediately. I've read that a body of water symbolizes life, and just recently I heard Joseph Campbell interpret a body of water as our unconscious. I want to start living bigger and this photo is my kind of "having a great time, wish you were here" postcard. I don't yet know what living bigger actually looks like.
I am afraid of snakes. We were touring the countryside in the Dominican Republic when one of the local farmers offered up his prized python for everyone on the tour to pass around and pose with. Before I even had a thought, I was sobbing. It felt like I had two minds working; one was thinking about how to be gracious and not offend the farmer or take anything away from the experience for the other tourists, the other was consumed with a racing heart, sweaty palms and an amazing amount of tears. Once when I was dating Keven, he pointed out a small gardener snake on a nature trail and I promptly climbed to the top of my then boyfriend. Joseph Campbell says the snake in mythology represents life or the indwelling life force. I don't want to be afraid of life. OK, the symbolism only works out if I accept it, but the idea has stuck with me so it's reasonable to think that it might hold some truth for me. What am I afraid of? I think I'll have to meditate on this a while, I don't yet have an answer, but I do think it's an important next step for me. This timidity is showing up in my work and in my art- a wall I'm butting up against. I don't know what I'm getting myself into, but I'm willing to give it my attention. I'd love to be somebody who could take a running leap.