worthiness

So I figure that we need $1500 between the two of us to go to the training in KCMO. I really like the idea of going while I still feel the momentum of the symposium moving me, but $1500 is still alot of money. Not a huge amount, but one worth pausing to think about. Did you read the scholarship document? I was all set to fill out a form and wait for the money to arrive, at least some helpful amount if not all of it. I don't think they drafted the document to read like a guilt trip, but it did effectively make me stop and think: am I really in a position of needing money? $750, my portion, is alot of money but do I have access to it if I needed it? Even though I am hesitant to choose it, I do have the option of putting the whole thing on a credit card (and earn more miles!) I think about the people from that U of Chicago study who believe they only have one person in their life to turn to when they are in need. I am not one of those people, I'm lucky to have a life filled with many people that love and support me. I can think of at least 5 people whom I could call in the middle of the night, a good feeling. So from what perspective am I a person in need of a scholarship? There are lots of people in the world worse off than me at this moment. But are they going to enroll in the training program to facilitate Awakening The Dreamer symposia (I just looked it up) It is a question of worthiness; do believe that I'm worthy of receiving the funds necessary? Am I worthy? Is our idea for a young women's empowerment workshop worthy? (I don't think I like the term "young women" What else can we call them?) What do you want it to look like? Is it something you are excited about? How invested are we?
Money is just a tool.