odd bookends

Last night I dreamt that I knew I was dying. I had taken this herbal tonic and I remember something about a nose spray I think, and I may not have been me, but I remember clearly thinking OK so this is going to make me feel sleepy and then it'll be just like I'm falling asleep. And for what seemed like forever I was dreaming about lying in bed and allowing myself to fall asleep, and wondering if I was dead, at what point would I know? I know, it's so incredibly morose. I don't often have dreams like this, and I don't think I've ever dreamt of dying. Yesterday my Mom sent me an article about the blood disease she has, Polycythemia something, and said she found it interesting. It was about how researchers have isolated the gene that is telling my Mom's body to overproduce red blood cells. Polycythemia is when your body creates an overabundance of red blood cells, very few of them whole and viable- it's kind of like a red blood cell factory run amok. It was a relief when my Mom was diagnosed almost ten years ago- it explained things like why her cheeks were always flushed, why she had such bad migraines and maybe why she fainted so often as a girl. The thing she never mentioned before, that I found out through the article she sent, is that Polycythemia can lead to Leukemia. My Mom has a way about communicating this way- "oh, didn't I mention that? I thought I had..." She told me that she as been able to maintain the same blood levels since she started taking the medicine for it, and that that only happens to other people not her. This may be why I am having the dreams that I am.
Family gratitude:
I am thankful for the wisdom my Mom taught me about my own body
I am thankful for the time spent listening to my Dad embellish my storybooks at bedtime
I am thankful for all the times my brother let me convince him to sit in my doorway until I fell asleep
I am thankful for all the trips to the botanical gardens with my Mom
I am thankful for my Mom's hamburger pie, with green beans to sneak in some veggies.
I am thankful for my Dad's comb and all the times he let me coif his wet hair in the style of fictional actors.