Clay

Yesterday I unwrapped all of the clay vessels that the 4th graders made to find that almost all had cracked. The clay shrunk but the paper tube armature inside did not. They're in the "leather hard" stage, which means they're perfect for carving but very, very fragile and virtually unmendable. I patched the cracks with clay, but I think I only created an illusion for the kids that their mug was fixed- the two clay bodies will likely dry at different times and pull apart...
At the beginning of the year I would have sat on the floor of my classroom and cried, for letting down that whole class of kids and for confirming that I am not a very good art teacher. I still do feel badly for the kids, they worked hard on this lesson thus far, but I am slowly learning to be more forgiving of myself. Things like this must happen. People don't start out as great teacher, but turn into one over time. It all takes patience. I also believe that if I had melted into a puddle of self-pity I might have taken too narrow a perspective to see that the cylinder can still be divided in half and turned into a dish. It might actually be a better thing than the cylinder. And if I really wanted to put a glossy sheen on my clay debacle I'd go a step further and say that the lesson for my students of what can be made out of a mistake is a very valuable one.
I still do wish I was well-versed in all media and a phenom of an art teacher, but I'm trying instead to see myself as a budding art teacher with lots of potential and a true desire to grow. The latter take patience that I'd never learn were I the former. Sigh.